And since my birthday coincidentally falls on this day, I wonder what horrors will be posted over the interwebs today.
Hopefully that also signals the end of the most unproductive year of my life. Yeah, I was probably even more productive in my first year. I partially blame that on not jumping ship here when it first started up, since I had already more or less given up hope on the ship I jumped off then. Of course, there were other factors, a lot of it to do with RL issues as well, which are at least behind me now. I don't think there was anything good in last year other than reviving the Seabrick and coming here. The latter is somewhat in progress because I still haven't really turned up yet. But at least the decision was made and I can look forward again.
It's better than getting worked up on yet another change full of crap, which seems to happen all too often on that other ship, unfortunately. The project was simply not what it used to be, and things that were not broken were 'fixed', with little reason for doing so, and breaking a lot of other stuff in the process, requiring a lot of work to fix it. That's what happens when a project is in development hell and no-one knows what they are doing any more. I saw the latest milestone in development as a step backwards overall, rather than progress. Over time, I became demoralised and my only contribution was complaining every week at some unnecessary change needlessly breaking something else. It built and built and built until I eventually had to succumb to the pressure and snapped. It got to the point where I thought the situation was no longer salvageable and that's why I came here. I find it pointless contributing to a ship I feel will inevitably sink. On one hand, I feel like at the same time, I am screwing their community in doing this. But at the same time, I also feel that the community is being screwed by the state that project is in, and that no attempt to right it is possible with the mentality of the current management. I don't believe they would want to revert back to the last known good milestone, backport any useful changes from trunk, and then add one or two major features to turn that into the next stable milestone, which I think is the best solution. The situation has made me rather bitter about it, but it's because I cared about the project and don't like what is happening to it, and I cared about the community that have mostly left because of what is happening to that project. I met a lot of people there, devs and players alike, and remember many who have already left and probably won't return. No-one have really filled their boots. And now, there is nothing left to keep me there. I don't want to be branded a traitor for coming here. Really, I want to do what is best for the project, and the only progress I can see for it is if it continues here unless the mentality changes within the core devs of the one that is sinking.
I just hope I can clean up the rust, give those old gears some oiling, and actually start grinding out the work like I used to. It's amazing how much stuff you can forget in a year's time. Nothing feels like second nature any more. Even doing a task I thought was rather trivial in the past now feels like a massive effort. Because of this, I'm not really enjoying it atm. In the past, when things were going smoothly, I couldn't wait to come back for more. This is why, for the time being at least, I just want to get on with what was once my bottom line, instead of branching out into new areas. Doing something I feel most comfortable with is probably the best way back for me. This means reviving some of my past projects that have been on hold. There were two main spells where I was on form, and that's how those projects came to be, before RL issues popped up and put an end to them for the time being. Now that I'm no longer at university and all the ordeal related to that is now behind me, I don't think I'll have anything close to those issues again. I just need to find my form again, and that's going to take time. Hopefully sooner than two weeks, or I'll lose the rest of what little sanity I have left.
Was kinda going off-topic there, but it is more like a year in review I suppose. This is what goes through my head atm, and for the most part, it's not healthy. At least I can see a light at the end of the tunnel now. Better not be a train, running is just not my thing right now...
Anyway, thanks for putting up with me and my rants so far (this one included). I guess I owe you one.
(Not to destroy the subject or anything, but it's actually my 24th year now.